How to Get Your Way At a Restaurant (And Elsewhere) Chris Lenz
Getting your way isn't always easy. In fact, sometimes it can be downright difficult. We've all been in a situation where we could have benefited from standing our ground and making a point, only to regret not having done so afterwards because we were too shy or afraid of the consequences. It's not necessarily a bad thing all the time, because confrontations often make people feel uncomfortable, and they'd rather just avoid the situation altogether by not saying anything to the contrary.
However, there are certain cases where it is entirely necessary to get your way, because the situation calls for you, as an individual, to stand up for yourself. Don't be afraid. You've heard the aphorism, "The squeaky wheel always gets the grease" and this is entirely true. If you don't speak up, how can you expect to get your way? You're not taking advantage of anyone. You're just taking a little preventative action to ensure that you and the people around you are satisfied. And why did I include the people around you in that statement, you might ask? Because, it will be your job after reading this guide to help others speak up for themselves and be more assertive, as well.
Rather than continue with generalities, let's take a look at our first case example: The Restaurant. We've all had experiences before at a restaurant where the service has been inadequate, and I'm sure more than once you've asked someone how their food was, only to hear "it's fine" when facial expressions obviously dictated otherwise. Wouldn't it just be better if everyone had the balls to say, "You know what, this entrée is terrible. I could have done better with the super value menu at McDonalds. I'm going to politely tell the waiter that I don't like my dish and see what he suggests we do about it, because I am the paying customer."
Now to all you people who are often too shy to speak up in these situations, let me ask you something. If you are spending some hard-earned dough on a classy meal for two at a nice restaurant, what are you expecting to get out of it? (And let's avoid any sexual references please, gentleman.) I would expect to receive quality service and excellent food like I would at any other expensive place. So what about when these characteristics just aren't up to par? Would you rather sit idly and avoid confrontation or actually do something about it? You have no need of being afraid of looking like a jerk if you are calm and polite while you state your reasons for being unhappy. Besides, this is a matter of principles of fairness. If you are spending good money, you deserve to get what you paid for. Any decent manager is going to recognize that your future patronage is worth more to the business than another entrée or a complimentary dessert, so let him do his job and make you happy.
Hopefully I've effectively covered the reasons for not wanting to get your way when necessary, so let's take a look at a few simple steps that you can follow to solidify your role as a take-charge personality.
1) No matter to whom you are complaining, be it a busboy or the maitre d', always be polite, but also make sure that you are stern when you state your reasons for dissatisfaction. (Complaining has a very negative connotation and is usually associated with being whiny, but I feel that here it is entirely appropriate if executed properly). Yes, if you throw a fit and start yelling you'll probably get an immediate response to your demands, but that'll only be to get you to shut-up, and certainly won't garner the respect of your peers either. The key is to look like a gentleman, and not an asshole.
2) People will respond better to you if you aren't directly blaming them, rather lightly placing the blame as a result of some other factor. If you're giving a waiter his first warning, saying that you understand that he is extremely busy tonight will inform him that you are not satisfied by his services thus far, but that you would like more attentiveness from him in the future. In this manner you are confronting him with a warning, without directly blaming him in the process. The advantage of this is that the waiter isn't going to feel like he's being harassed by another customer, and won't be urinating in your lobster bisque as a result. The other advantage of this is that it gives you substantial grounds to get pissed off in the event that the service doesn't change, because as far as everyone else is concerned, you've already been Mr. Nice Guy.
3) "So what can we do about this?" is a good question to throw at a manager. Essentially it is a polite way of letting him know that you are willing to accept a bribe in return for being a satisfied customer. It also gives him the opportunity to offer you complimentary items such as dessert and drinks. Otherwise, you'll just be complaining and all he will do is apologize repeatedly, but what is there to gain from that? Give him a way out and a chance to make it up to you. I guarantee you he has much better things to be doing than talking to you in the first place, so the sooner he can stop listening to you by offering you comps the better. In addition, he probably hates confrontations as much as you do, so this only makes his job easier.
4) If all else fails, f*ck it. Go ahead and make a scene. Even if you're not actually roaring angry, find amusement in making others feel uncomfortable by pretending that you are. Look around the room and see all the gawking faces staring at you like you are the one who is out of line. These are the kinds of people who would have never spoken up in the first place. Meanwhile, guys like us are the ones laughing our asses off from a table in the back. As an added note, if the service is so bad that it is almost laughable, try dialing information and calling the restaurant directly while you are at your table. You'll get service. I know, from experience.
