How to Cope With Negative Personalities In the office and the world Justin Hartfield
Negative people have the tendency to rub their own thoughts of lacking and low self worth on to others around them. This can ruin the good vibes of a group and turn an otherwise productive meeting into a shouting match or a happy gathering of friends into a petty quarrel. The following is a list of tips you can use to combat the negative attitude exhibited by the Haters.
1) Haters believe that they are always right, so you must placate them first and respond second.
The Hater is always right. Don't question the hater and accuse their assumptions to be false or their conclusions to be invalid. This will only breed more hate. Instead, connect with the Hater by reassuring them that you understand their point of view. Step inside the Hater's shoes and explain his own reasoning back to him. Then explain how the same ends can be accomplished in another, presumably better way. Speak with compassion and purpose. Remember, you are not suggesting an alternative, instead you are subtly and artfully demanding one. Speak in facts which are easily graspable by everyone and away from theory which can sometimes obfuscate the situation.
2) Haters will attempt to poison someone who has achieved their goals with noxious words, so you must respond with appreciation.
The Hater's ally, Jealousy, is usually hiding in the depth of the Hater's persona. It builds up potential negative energy until it is finally forced to the surface, usually via the actions of others. The Haters and their Jealousy find the actions of others so repugnant that oftentimes they are forced to derisively quip at their peers, attempting to demean in order preserve their own egos. Ironically, their quips only serve to discredit themselves and actually contribute to their own lack of self-esteem. The way to combat the Haters (and their allies) is by unabashed appreciation. Show love to the very person the Hater is childishly attempting to deface. The Hater will become uncomfortable and forced to hold their tongue, because to tarnish the person in question anymore would be like tarnishing you as well.
3) Haters will try to subtly demean you by refusing to grant you their respect. The solution lies within yourself.
Pimps have a rule. The rule states that if you see a fellow pimp who is obviously on top of his game (gold flake painted Cadillac, surrounded by ethnic hookers, dressed in expensive looking silks) then it is your obligation to verbally grant him your respect. Because if you refuse to do so, you are hating by ignoring your peers obviously remarkable 'game.' This rule makes too much sense for the rest of society to not adapt it as their own. However, there will come a time when not only is your strong game being ignored but is also being slandered. In order to not be rattled by this blatant attempt at hateration, you must learn to stop seeking validation from others. The Hater's words are negative, true, but they should in no way affect your state of being or presence of mind. "The love that we have for you/is stronger than the Hate that they have for us." - Visionaries "We Are the Ones"
4) Life is something to be respected and cherished, except in the hands of the Hater. Let their poor behavior motivate you for the good.
The Hater wastes his existence always criticizing but never actually doing. Its unfortunate, really, because although they are blessed with life, they refuse to see how tremendously fortunate they are, and they instead merely criticize loudly. A life squandered is worse than one not lived at all. Some people show up for work like they were entered a funeral house. Solemn, morose and with the uncanny capacity to wilt the spirit of others around them. The Haters fail to see that life, at least on some basic elementary level is perfect. Somehow, everything works out perfectly. The galaxy and the stars all move in harmony. Somewhere in that nth layer of abstraction, everything is perfect - despite the traffic jam you may be stuck in going home from work on a Friday evening. Every single situation has some positive aspect to it, as long as you know how to look for the perfection in it. Use the failed lessons of your peers to inspire you be different and focus.
The Hater can sometimes be a nuisance, but should never be a burden. Even the most despicable of people deserve the gift of being loved. Even if you can't think of anything nice to say at least know that their exhalations are giving life sustaining carbon dioxide to plants.
